Entries with tag fear .

Holding on to God in Hard Times

“Why?”

 

Why didn’t God stop all of these hurricanes? Why did my friends lose their jobs? Why can’t I stop this bad habit? Why am I struggling financially?

 

Each of us has our own set of “whys” that we ask ourselves and that maybe we ask God in prayer each day. We want there to be a rhyme and reason to life. We want there to be order and justice. We want our prayers heard and answered.

 

There’s some dissonance when we know we’re prayerful people (or at least people who consistently try to pray) but things don’t go as planned. We lose our jobs, bills pile up, family members pass away, and natural disasters seem only to be more frequent. We need God more than ever, but these problems have a habit of pushing us away from our faith.

 

Here are three things to keep in mind in the midst of hard times.

 

1. God IS with us

 

When things are going well, it isn’t so hard to remember God. It’s when nothing seems to be working out that we wonder where God is in our lives. In the Old Testament, the Prophet Elijah (St. Elias) went in search for God to speak to Him. He found that God wasn’t found in these big shows of the earth’s power (the wind, the earthquake, or fire)...but He was found in a quiet whisper (1 Kings 19:9-13). Later, when God chose to become man, He wasn’t born a king, he was born to a young girl in a cave. Jesus was born and called Immanuel (literally “God with us”) in a way the people weren’t expecting (Matthew 1:23). So maybe God is with us when we least expect it, too.

 

For many of us, it can be really hard to sense God’s presence with us when we’re going through tough times. Sadness and grief can lead us to despair and despondency. Worry can lead to anxiety and fear. And fear just leads us to isolate and get lost in the what-ifs in our thoughts.

 

So how do we see that God is with us? There’s a beautiful Orthodox prayer service called the “Glory to God for all Things Akathist” that helps us to meditate on our many blessings and gratitudes when we might be inclined to see none. God is with us in the love of friends and family. Even after a disaster, God is made known to us in the acts of kindness shown by strangers and in the service given by emergency personnel. God is with us, and we recognize His presence when we learn to see the many signs of His mercy.

 

2. We can’t always explain suffering

 

Since so many of us ask “Why?” when we face suffering, there is no shortage of people giving explanations. Many Protestant pastors have suggested that natural disasters serve as signs of the Second Coming of Christ or serve as punishment for societal sin. Other people, like Kirk Cameron (actor from the 1985-1992 sitcom Growing Pains and the popular Left Behind series about the supposed “Rapture”) suggest that storms like Hurricane Irma are meant for individuals to personally repent.

 

One blogger, commenting on Kirk Cameron’s remarks, wrote:

People who are wounded and grieving and heartbroken need to be cared for and comforted and embraced—they don’t need any armchair theology about why this is a good thing, or how it’s a Divine personal message, or what God might be personally saying to them. It’s one thing for a victim to seek and speculate on such things for themselves, but something else for us to do it for them…

 

Maybe we should admit the mystery, discomfort, and the tension that spirituality yields in painful, terrifying times.

 

Maybe when people are being terrorized by nature or by the inhumanity around them, instead of shouting sermons at them—we should shut up and simply try to be a loving, compassionate presence.

 

This response meant so much to me, personally, because I still feel an instinctive cringe awaiting some religious leader giving their interpretation of the impending doom that natural disasters might represent. It’s part of my own path of healing having been raised in a Rapture-centric community before becoming Orthodox.

 

Sometimes we can look too hard for meaning in situations that simply are. We live in a broken world with pain and suffering and being a Christian doesn’t make us imune to the ways of the world. I can’t give meaning to another’s suffering. I can’t even guarantee I’ll make sense of my own; the only thing I can do with it is offer it up to God in prayer.

 

3. Prayer isn’t a transaction

 

When we encounter difficult times, prayer is either the last thing we think about or it’s the thing we grasp onto. As I watched Hurricane Irma approach Florida, I had to consciously reject the urge to freeze with anxiety about family and friends, and instead turn to prayer. In the moment, prayer was the only thing I could do. But what if my prayers aren’t answered? What if what I ask for (protection for people I love) isn’t what I get?

 

I can approach prayer as a transactional process with God or I can approach it as a transformational encounter with Him as part of our relationship. I’m abusing my relationship with God if I expect something from Him in return for my time and energy in prayer. If I think I’ll get what I want if only I fast properly or say the right words, or ask the right saint to intercede for me, I’m not committing myself and others to God.

 

Instead, I can chose to give my worries and concerns up to God. I can tell Him what is making me scared, and I can ask Him that His will “be done on earth as it is in heaven” as we pray in the Our Father. I pray so that I can make myself aware of being in the presence of God and so that God can soften the hardness of my heart. And then, naturally, God gives me the strength I need to endure the hard times.

 

*****

 

Each year during summer camp, one of my favorite moments was when the campers learned the hymn, “Lord of the powers.” As we repeated the words, the meaning sank deeper and we recognized that the words were really true: “Lord of the powers, be with us for in times of distress we have no other help but You, Lord of the powers, have mercy on us!” There isn’t always an escape from the hard times, but there is always a God present with us in the midst of it all.

 

Do you find yourself trying to find meaning in everyday struggles? How can you offer this to God for today?

 

 

Want more from Y2AM? Subscribe to our email list and get weekly tips for your spiritual life every Monday! And you can support Y2AM even more by becoming a supporter. Your contribution can help us continue the work we’re doing.

 

Sam is the Pastoral Assistant at Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church in Virginia Beach, Virginia. He grew up in Powhatan, Virginia and studied International Affairs and Spanish at James Madison University. Sam received his MDiv from Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology in 2013. He loves food, languages, genealogy, and good coffee.

Photo Credit: depositphotos

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Help! I’m a People-Pleaser

Confession: I am a people-pleaser. As a child, I didn’t want to disappoint my parents or teachers. In friendships, I’ve always been the one who worries if I’ve upset someone. And in my relationship with God, I battle the fear that I’m not doing enough to grow closer to Him. Being a people-pleaser for me is worrying about or trying to make everyone happy with me. And it’s so tiring precisely because this goal is impossible to achieve.

 

And though I mean well - I tell myself I do these things because I value my relationships - at the root of my people-pleasing are several issues that actually hinder the relationships I’m so valiantly trying to protect.

 

1. Control

 

When I worry about keeping the peace around me, there is an underlying assumption on my part that peace depends on me. When I worry about the thoughts and concerns of others, I’m hoping that I can change what they think or what they are concerned about. What I see then is that my people-pleasing is an issue of control; specifically, it’s a fear of losing control over the world around me.

 

No one likes to feel out of control. No one likes to feel that others are controlling them. So instead, we take the reins and try to insure that others are happy. Oddly enough, our sense of control is controlled by others. And ultimately, our trying to manage our world leaves us feeling anxious and out of control.

 

The good news is that we have a God who is all-powerful and who is able to bring peace into our worried lives. What we need is to recognize that trying to control our lives doesn’t work because we’re really powerless over these things. God, on the other hand, is not. We can get past our people-pleasing by abandoning ourselves to God and letting Him guide us instead of us trying to control all of the minutia around us.

 

2. Validation

 

Behind our desire to be in control of our lives is an aching desire to be accepted and validated. We worry what others think about us and this causes us anxiety and stress. Our sense of identity is so wrapped up in others’ lives because we fail to keep proper boundaries in our relationships. We don’t want to hurt others feelings, we don’t want to be disliked, we don’t want to feel judged. We listen to the lies we tell ourselves instead of listening to and seeking out our validation from God.

 

It isn’t before our friends or parents that we are going to have to give account of our lives, it is before Jesus Christ (Hebrews 4:13).

 

We’re so used to trying to earn others approval, we might even try to earn His, too. Jesus teaches us to not to live our lives trying to prove ourselves and our righteousness (Matthew 6:1-6,16). As Christians, we have no need to seek out acceptance from the world around us. “You have died,” Saint Paul tells us, “and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (Colossians 3:3). Despite our imperfections, God has reconciled Himself to us and has adopted us as His own (Colossians 1:22; Ephesians 1:5).

 

3. Fear

 

If I’m trying to control my relationships by keeping the peace, and I’m looking for validation in others, then fear is probably motivating my actions. I’m afraid of being alone or afraid of being rejected, and therefore I try to keep others happy. I might be afraid to be assertive or to hurt others feelings because I can’t handle the rejection that might come from it. But really, how can one truly live a life motivated by this sort of fear?

 

There are different sorts of fear in our lives. On the one hand, there’s the fear of God that we experience when we recognize we are in the presence of the Living God. But then there’s the fear of discomfort and the fear of dealing with life that keeps us running from life by living in fear. Instead of living our lives motivated by fear of losing our relationships (with people or with God), we are called to live according to the self-sacrificial love of Christ, our God who is love (Ephesians 5:25; 1 John 4:8).

 

*****

 

Recently, I found a fun article called “The Definition Of Hell For Each Myers-Briggs Personality Type." According to the article, the worst imaginable thing for a person of my Myers-Briggs type, ESFJ, was that, “Someone you love is in dire need of practical help and you can’t give it to them. Worse yet, they think you’re refusing to help them out of pettiness and they’re mad at you.” Well, that’s spot on! It’s almost as if being a people-pleaser is wrapped up in how I’m wired to interact with others.

 

Though it might take work to stop being a people-pleaser, it’s even harder to try to make everyone else happy. If this is something we struggle with, we will need to work to see how we are motivated by a desire to be in control, by a need for validation, and by fear. Instead of trying to control our world, we will recognize that God is better at running the world than we are. Instead of looking to be validated by others or to prove ourselves, we will seek out a stronger relationship with God.

 

And instead of fear, we will live motivated by love.

 

In what ways do you struggle with trying to make others happy? Is this something you’re willing to change with God’s help?

 

 

Want more from Y2AM? Subscribe to our email list and get weekly tips for your spiritual life every Monday! And you can support Y2AM even more by becoming a monthly Patreon supporter. As little as $1 a month can help us continue the work we’re doing.

 

Sam is the Pastoral Assistant at Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church in Virginia Beach, Virginia. He grew up in Powhatan, Virginia and studied International Affairs and Spanish at James Madison University. Sam received his MDiv from Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology in 2013. He loves food, languages, genealogy, and good coffee.

Photo Credit: depositphotos

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Running from Life

I’ve never liked running. In fact, I dreaded those fated days in gym class when we’d have to run the mile. I just knew I’d be too slow and afterwards would feel too sick. The same goes for sports. I was too self-conscious to enjoy playing them. I didn’t want to feel uncomfortable; I didn’t want to be judged. So I would take the easier route during class and walk the track instead. It was my way of escaping the seemingly inevitable pain of gym class.

 

There’s a lot about life that is painful or uncomfortable. But there’s also a lot that’s beautiful and joyful. I’d just rather skip the pain and move along to the joy. I’d rather not feel the discomfort of disappointment or the pangs of fear or the stress of work that needs to be done. And when I’m not feeling super-connected spiritually, I might even avoid prayer. But the reality is, the more I train myself to run away from the negative in life, the more I run away from Life Himself. When I run, I miss an opportunity to encounter the Lord, and instead believe the lie that I’m alone.

 

So how do we stop this pattern of emotional escapism? How do we stop running from Life?

 

1. See struggle as a potential good

 

There is a certain inevitability about hard times. We are all going to experience the death of a loved one, the stress of a job, the loss of a friendship. Though we might intellectually understand this, we oftentimes aren’t prepared when they come. We’re blindsided and don’t know how to handle it. Being around difficult people can be a challenge, and it’s easier to escape into social media than face reality.

 

Saint John of Kronstadt (+1909) speaks to the instinct to escape struggle:

Do not fear the conflict, do not flee it. Where there is no struggle, there is no virtue; where faith and love are not tempted, it is not possible to be sure whether they are really present. They are proved and revealed in adversity, that is, in difficult and grievous circumstances, both outward and inward - during sickness, sorrow, or privations. (My Life in Christ, p. 375)

Adversity reveals to us the current state of our hearts. How we react to loss and pain shines light on our own ability or inability to trust God and our personal acceptance that we aren’t in control of everything. And we don’t like being out of control. But we have a God mighty in power and able to turn our sorrow into joy.

 

2. Let church be a training ground, not an escape

 

There are a lot of people who see faith as an escape. Either they’re opposed to religion and see it as escapism from the reality of life, or they’re Christians who look for respite from the world. Recently, I read a quote by an atheist that said, “An atheist strives for involvement in life and not escape into death.” There’s this idea that people go to church so that they can ignore their problems and try to pray them away.

 

Saint Maria Skobtsova of Paris (+1945) once wrote:

It would be a great lie to tell searching souls: ‘Go to church, because there you will find peace.’ The opposite is true. The Church tells those who are at peace and asleep: ‘Go to church, because there you will feel real anguish for your sins, for your perdition, for the world’s sins and perdition. There you will feel an unappeasable hunger for Christ’s truth. There, instead of becoming lukewarm, you will be set on fire; instead of pacified, you will become alarmed; instead of learning the wisdom of this world you will become fools for Christ.’ (“Under the Sign of Our Time” p. 113)

This great saint of our times saw the danger that comes from using church as a means of escaping the reality of life. St. Maria did not see worship as a respite from the world, but as an opportunity to encounter the Truth and the truth about ourselves. Worship should lead us to more passionately serve Christ and our neighbor in the world.

 

We find peace in Christ, but not because He takes our problems away. “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). We find peace in Christ even in the midst of tribulation because in Him we no longer have to face the world alone.

 

3. Remember you are not alone

 

God created us for relationships – with Him and with each other. When we start feeling overwhelmed, when we start to turn to fear and anxiety, we tend to isolate ourselves. We forget that we’re not alone. Sometimes we as Christians can act as if we’re spiritual orphans. We can’t see Christ, so we aren’t sure if He’s actually with us.

 

We run away from something when we are afraid to face it alone. We run from discomfort and problems because we think they’re up to us to solve. "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up" (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). When we truly know that God is our strength and that the Church is here to support us, we’ll understand that we’re never alone.

 

But it’s still up to us to actually connect to God through prayer and the sacraments and to reach out to the Church by being a part of community.

 

*****

 

When we run from life, when we run from Christ, we miss out on truly living. Life with all its struggles and difficulties is the only reality we have so avoidance isn’t an option. There is no “walk the track” easy way out: we all have to run this race. Instead, we can turn to the Source of our Life, to Christ, as our support and our peace. With Him, we can see how challenges that we face (perhaps we’ll only see this later) can be used for good. And we’ll see the Church not as a place to escape the world, but as a community that trains us to live in the world. Living as a part of this community, connected to one another and to God, we’ll be able to face life’s trials instead of running from them.

 

What in your life are you afraid of facing? How can the Church be a place you work through your fear?

 

 

Want more from Y2AM? Subscribe to our email list and get weekly tips for your spiritual life every Monday! And you can support Y2AM even more by becoming a monthly Patreon supporter. As little as $1 a month can help us continue the work we’re doing.

 

Sam is the Pastoral Assistant at Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church in Virginia Beach, Virginia. He grew up in Powhatan, Virginia and studied International Affairs and Spanish at James Madison University. Sam received his MDiv from Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology in 2013. He loves food, languages, genealogy, and good coffee.

Photo Credit: depositphotos

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That Time I Thought My Daughter Was Dying

I’ve lately been writing a lot about the need for courage in the face of death. A couple weeks ago, my own courage in the face of death was put to the test when, after hitting her head on a concrete floor, my beautiful 13-month-old baby girl passed out for roughly a minute.

Nothing could have prepared me for this, and I’m honestly still trying to make sense of it. It is every father’s nightmare.

It happened while my family and a bunch of our friends were out to lunch following the Divine Liturgy. Having just participated in the Lord’s Table, we extended our Eucharistic community through the lifting up of our lunch table.

My baby had just started walking a couple weeks prior, so she was still very new to the whole biped way of life (aren’t we all?). I was walking right behind her, half-distracted by the goings-on of the restaurant as well as the Cubs game on television. She leaned up against a slick, vinyl bench, and down she went, smacking the back of her head square on the ground.

At this point, other than being scared and in pain, she seemed fine. Just a normal, albeit hard fall, I thought. She started crying, as one would expect, but as I picked her up and walked her to her mommy, she must have been unable to get a breath in the midst of her deep pain, which is when her eyes rolled back, and she passed out in my arms.

Even writing this now, I struggle to put the words down, horrified and fighting back tears as images of my infant daughter, limp and unconscious, run through my head.

I have never been more afraid than I was then.

I have never felt more vulnerable than I did at that moment.

I realized just how swiftly my “happiness” could be taken away from me and how fragile everything that I’m working to build for my family and myself really is.

Obviously, no parent wants to see their kid pass out, no parent wants to see their child die, and unfortunately, far too many parents have to go through such tragedy. I have several friends who have lost babies to miscarriage, SIDS, or some other fatal disease.

And after the fainting incident, I can honestly say that how these people found ways through the pain that I only momentarily was afraid of…well, it’s beyond me.

And I think that’s just the point. It is beyond any of us.

The only explanation I have is that somehow these parents who have lost their children believe, deep in their souls, that life is stronger than death. They bravely believe that Christ is stronger than death.

They must have a firm conviction that Christ truly has defeated death, or they are at least actively practicing this conviction, leaning into the discomfort, the pain, the tragedy of losing a child.

These courageous parents choose love and hope, trusting in Christ even when faced with the inescapable reality of death. These are people whom I wish to emulate.

Because the reality of our world is bleak.

It seems like almost every day that we see some news story about someone (or even a bunch of someones) dying far too soon and far too violently. Why do I think that I am impervious to the threat of having my own heart broken?

Death is coming for me and for my children. The only hope is Jesus Christ.

And I felt the need to have that hope, a need to trust the Christ is mightier than anything that could take my baby away from me. I felt the need for that hope when death came knocking at the door of my faith and the only answer that came was the hollow echo of nothingness.

I realized how truly, deeply afraid I am, how much I continually trust in myself to keep my family safe, to keep myself safe. But no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I convince myself that I can protect my children, the reality is that I can’t.

And that terrifies me.

So more than having a lesson or some kind of thesis with this blog post, I write it more as a confession. I write it to confess that I struggle, that my faith gets battered up against the cold, hard reality of death. Or rather, my lack of faith is exposed by the moments that terrify me, that truly deeply shake me to my core.

And I write it as a request because I know I’m not alone. That we can pray for one another that we can learn to hold each other close as we lift each other up to the Lord Jesus Christ, the One in whom we must choose to hope daily, for He alone is the Resurrection and the Life.

Photo Credits:

Dark Path: Desositphotos

Jesus: Despositphotos

Christian is a Young Adult Ministries Coordinator for Y2AM. He is a husband, father, mover, shaker, coffee drinker, sandal wearer, and CrossFitter. Christian has his first MA from Azusa Pacific University in Marriage and Family Therapy and a second MA in Children, Youth, and Family Ministry from Luther Seminary. Christian and his family live in Phoenix, Arizona.

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Finding Hope Even in 2016

As many of you probably have, I’ve struggled to keep a good thought in what has proven to be a challenging year. Between the Great and Holy Council, and the US Presidential election, there has been a constant stream of news (both Church and secular) to follow and to worry about.  And even now, the innocent continue to die in the streets both at home and abroad, and politicians continue to bicker.

 

In need of some guidance, I opened up the Bible and found Chapter 8 of Saint Paul’s letter to the Romans. As is often the case, this was exactly what I needed to read. I needed to be reminded that there is always hope in Christ: that there is hope regardless of our present circumstances.

 

So what did I read in the book of Romans that gave me strength? What was it that helped me not to ignore the suffering and injustices of this world, but to find courage instead of despair even in the midst of it all?

 

1. Fear not, God is our Father

 

“For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, ‘Abba, father.’” Romans 8:15

 

In our baptism, we were adopted as sons and daughters of God. What Jesus shares with the Father by nature, we get to share by grace as a gift. We have the privilege of calling out “Abba!” (Baba or Papa) to the creator of the universe. God is not some distant impersonal force out there; God the Father is our guide, our protection, and our cause of joy. We may experience fear, but we are not alone. Our Father is holding us close to Himself.  As a father embraces his child during a thunderstorm, giving them faith that they are safe, so too our Heavenly Father embraces us with His protection.

 

So when the temptation comes to worry about what will happen next, remember that we did not receive a spirit of fear. Our fear cannot fix this broken world. But a spirit of peace might be just what people need.

 

2. Suffering will come, but so will glory

 

“The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:18

 

Church history shows us that following Christ does not guarantee an easy or physically blessed life. What the Church reminds us though, over and over through the life of the saints, is that suffering in this life does not compare with the glory that will come through unity with Jesus Christ.

 

We may not be able to control the circumstances that come our way or the evils in the world, but if we are united to Jesus Christ, we will have already found the source of joy to endure whatever it is we face. The world will not be able to knock us off of our feet if we are already firmly grounded in Him. With Christ as our anchor, we will be able to endure the pain we feel watching the news, the frustration of an election year, the suffering that we personally encounter.

 

3. We have an active hope

 

“The whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.” Romans 8:22

 

“We eagerly wait for it [the redemption of our body] with perseverance.” Romans 8:23, 25

 

Not only do we await the redemption and resurrection of our bodies (as we confess in the Creed), but all of creation is awaiting this future glorification and renewal with Christ. So what does that mean for our world today? It reminds us that we await something better, that even though the quality of life, technology and medicine have improved over the centuries, sin and death still rule. While we get a foretaste of the kingdom in this life, we still look to a moment when all of this world (with its imperfect people and imperfect politics) will be redeemed.

 

So how can we have this active, persevering sort of hope? Well, have you ever seen a dog wait patiently for a treat? He never takes his eyes off his master and obeys him with eagerness to gain the prize. I should be as eager for God’s grace in my life as a dog is for his treat.

 

4. We are weak, God is strong

 

“The Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.” Romans 8:26

 

“If God is for us, who can be against us?” Romans 8:31

 

“Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation or distress, or persecution or family, or nakedness or peril or sword?...Neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35, 38-39

 

When I am stuck in worry about the state of the world, when I find myself impassioned over the fate of our country or of Christians in the Middle East, I am acting as if I have the power to solve these problems on my own. I can only despair because I become aware of my own weakness. Instead of turning to God in prayer, I turn to worry. But Saint Paul reminds us that even when we do not know the words to say, the Holy Spirit will help us direct our hearts and minds to Him. God’s power is “made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9) precisely because we can’t get anything done if we rely on our own perceived strength; we can only experience God’s strength if we acknowledge our own limitations.

 

What can separate us from the love of Christ? Absolutely nothing. Except maybe our pride. But when we are weak, God is strong.

 

*****

 

It is good to be upset about and not numb to the injustice, the death, and the pain our world experiences. It is good that we see the imperfections of a world that isn’t rooted in the hope of the Gospel. But instead of turning inwards through despair or turning outwards in anger or resentment, we must turn up to God in prayer first. In prayer, God might even reveal what we can do to be a tool of His grace in this world so much in need of Christ’s presence.

 

Sam is the Director of Youth & Young Adult Ministries at Saint Nicholas Greek Orthodox Church in Wyckoff, New Jersey. He grew up in Powhatan, Virginia and studied International Affairs and Spanish at James Madison University. Sam received his MDiv from Holy Cross Greek Orthodox School of Theology in 2013. He loves food, languages and good coffee.

Photo Credit: depositphotos

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