Asset Publisher

Throwing Stones

No conversation happens in a vacuum.  Words spoken long ago continue to echo in our minds long after they're articulated.  When I speak to you today, you're not simply hearing me and my words: you're rehearing words uttered by mouths long silent. 
 
Thanks to our broken nature, and our poor choices, that context tends to be terrible.  Our interactions are judgmental, hurtful, violent.  Even a loving, peaceful gesture can trigger a flood of dark memories.  I may approach you hoping to offer a comforting embrace, yet you may see in my outstretched arms the memory of abuse suffered long ago. 
 
It’s difficult enough growing up and making sense of ones sexuality.  It’s tragic that we add layers of shame, judgment, condemnation, and even violence to that confusion. 
 
For some reason, we love dividing the world in two: Democrats and Republicans, saints and sinners, good and evil.  We do the same in matters of sexuality: we label people as good and wholesome on the one hand, vile and deviant on the other.
 
We see the world as divided between the forces of darkness and the forces of light.  “We,” naturally, are the good guys.  “They” are not.  “They” are the problem.
 
That kind of thinking is the problem. 
 
The responses to the US Supreme Court's recent decision in the Defense of Marriage Act case have been emotionally charged, in both directions.  Some see it as the day a community, long discriminated against, finally received a level of respect and acceptance.  Others apparently see it as the en
d of the world.
 
Before we attempt to critique this decision, let's be honest: as a society, we have a terrible record engaging with homosexuality and the gay community.  Our "arguments" have usually been judgment, contempt, and even violence. The fruits of our “ministry” have been depression, promiscuity, drug addiction, and suicide.
Some will respond that Christ was very clear about sin, and that so should we.  It’s true, He didn’t shy away from telling sinners to “go, and sin no more.”  But we have to remember that Christ had a credibility that we lack.  When a crowd of people wanted to stone a woman caught in adultery, Christ took mercy on her.  He disarmed the angry mob, saying that he who was without sin should throw the first stone.  The crowd dispersed, dumfounded.  With no one left to condemn the poor woman, He addressed her directly and gently: “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.”  (John 8:11).
 
Yes, we need to be clear that the Church will not bless same-sex marriages.  That would be incompatible with our Christ-centered understanding of who we are and and what our salvation is.  (To be sure, we should say more about this, and we will, though it will have to wait for a later post.)
 
All that said, have our dealings with LGBTQ people been compatible with our understanding of human nature and salvation?
 
Have we joined in the condemnation of the gay community, expelling them from our community?  Do we joke about them behind their backs?  Do we revile them to their faces?  Even if we don’t, are we sensitive to the cross they bear, to the dehumanizing effect of the hateful words they haveendured?  Are we aware that their families may have disowned them?  Do we care that they may have attempted suicide in their despair?
 
I once heard a great story about the remarkable late 19th / early 20th century author, G.K. Chesterton.  A newspaper asked several famous writers to offer their thoughts on what was wrong with the world.  Chesterton provided the most succinct answer of all: “I am.”
 
We read the same in our Communion prayers, and acknowledge that Christ “came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am the first.”  Not you, not him or her.  Me.
 
So, how are we supposed to respond to the DOMA decision or discussion of same-sex marriage?  We should do what we should be doing anyway: praying, fasting, giving alms, loving our neighbors.  Maybe we’ll be able to have a deeper conversation when the world looks at us Christians and sees the genuine love of Christ.
Until then, I’m what’s wrong with the world.  Forgive me.
 
Originally posted at http://orthodoxyouthministry.blogspot.com/
 
.